I’ve got Another Confession To Make. A Hyperbole Free Review of the First Foo Fighters Show in a LONG Time
I’ve got another confession to make. I went to a concert last night as the COVID-19 pandemic rages. And it was glorious.
The Foo Fighters originally planned a tour to celebrate their 25th anniversary last year following the same itinerary and hitting the same cities as their first tour. COVID had other plans. So they rescheduled and while the pandemic is still among us, and 8,000 fans crammed onto the lawn outside the new Andrew J Brady ICON Music Center in Cincinnati to give the virus a rock and roll sized middle finger.
The new venue is fine, an outdoor stage and a grassy knoll along the river with a sweeping view of the Cincinnati skyline. There is also an indoor theater as part of the complex. The Foos could have played Riverbend and originally this show was supposed to be at US Bank Arena, but this was perfect. A bit more intimate, everyone felt close to the stage. Radkey opened and they were awesome, definitely going to check them out more. The crowd reacted well to these punk rockers, but we were there for one thing, the Foo freaking Fighters.
The band hit the stage at 8:30. Dave Grohl, rock’s kindest god, stood at the front of the stage for about 5 minutes, grinning from ear to ear, his constant companion, that blue guitar slung low around his body. “I’m just going to take this in for a minute. It’s been awhile.” We needed a minute to take it all in ourselves.
From that moment on, 8:30-11, the Foo Fighters didn’t stop fighting. And neither did the crowd. Sure, Dave took a few minutes here and there to introduce the band, to call out some fans, to catch his breath and let us catch ours, but it was a 21 song assault that included new songs, old songs, classic songs, and of course a few covers. Your favorite song was probably played and if it wasn’t there were enough sing along, sorry shout along tunes to keep you on your feet, give you goosebumps, and ensure you wouldn’t be able to speak the next day. I am not sure how Dave does it, screaming for nearly three hours without a crack, a mistake, or blowing out his vocal chords. Standouts of the night from Dave were The Pretender, Rope, My Hero, These Days, Walk, Best of You, and Monkey Wrench. The crowd screamed along with every single word he said.
One particularly magical moment came mid-show during the song Walk. During the lyrics, “
Forever, whenever, I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I'm on my knees, I never wanna die
I'm dancing on my grave
I'm running through the fire
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die”
there seemed to be a physical and emotional release. The entire audience shouting those words back at Dave almost in response to the last year was overwhelming. I literally sobbed. I don’t want to die. And am glad I haven’t. Yet. This show seemed like a reward for 16 months of wearing masks, avoiding people, washing my hands till they bled, and grieving the loss of 600,000 Americans. We’re not out of the woods yet, but I felt hopeful. At least for a moment. I’ve always loved this song, and now its among my favorites. By the Foos or anyone else.
Dee Gees
There was a fun moment when the Dee Gees made their appearance. Just two songs from the bands latest covers EP, You Should Be Dancing and Shadow Dancing. All of the hot moms and dads around us went bananas for these songs and everyone seemed to have a blast taking a moment to dance their asses off. Everyone except maybe Pat Smear who looked like he was thinking “I was the touring guitarist for Nirvana for Christ’s sake” during these two disco songs.
Taylor Freaking Hawkins
Can we talk about Taylor Hawkins for a minute? I love the guy. Like he might be my favorite person. And this is in a band that includes Dave Grohl. Taylor gets his moment to shine, even his friend Dave calls it out during his introduction; “He likes to hear how many people love him.” And we do. Taylor and Dave switch places and for me it’s the best part of the night. Tonight it was Queen’s “Somebody to Love” and it was GLORIOUS. Taylor can sing his ass off, wears Van Halen board shorts everywhere, and is just the coolest dude alive. He did of course return the love reminding everyone, for a moment while he sings we get to see one of rock’s greatest drummers play. And that always hits me. I get to see the drummer for freaking Nirvana. It’s a fun moment and I am forever a Taylor Hawkins stan.
The band eschewed an encore saying simply they could walk off the stage for a minute and what for the call back, but they wanted to squeeze as many songs in as they could. I called the first encore. Dave walked around and talked to everyone in the band, switched guitars, and hit a note. “Monkey Wrench” I called to my son. Sure as shit they SCREAMED their way through this classic. Then wrapped up with Everlong, of course, as the hour struck 11.
Consumate pros. Rock gods. Cool dudes. This was an epic night. Thank you.
This Blog’s The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard’s Review
My AMC A-List subscription re-activated today after a pandemic’s long pause. I am still a bit wary of people. And places. And things. And dying of a debilitating virus. But I am vaccinated and the theater in my neighborhood is amazingly still open despite always being empty. I opened up my AMC app, downloaded the update, changed my password and looked at the movies showing today. Fast 9 Saga was playing on 2 theaters and had a handful of seats sold; far more seats than I would have been comfortable sitting with for the 9th movie in a series of which I’ve seen none of the previous entries. Peter Rabbit 2, no….The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard you say? OK.
So for my first time back in an empty theater I chose to see The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard. Now, I knew next to nothing about this film. I’d vaguely seen a trailer or commercial for it. I knew Ryan Reynolds (the hitman?), Salma Hayek (the bodyguard?) and Nick Fury (the wife?) were in it. and I assumed it had something to do with a bodyguard guarding the body of the wife of a hitman. That’s about all you need to know.
This movie is loud. There’s a lot of gun shots, it’s very loud. Salma Hayek is still hot as a firecracker, though I shouldn’t say still, because here character gets very angry and the insinuation that she is old (she’s not). Ryan Reynolds spends almost the entirety of the film covered in brains and blood. And is also still as hot as a firecracker. A firecracker covers in brains and blood I suppose. Oh yeah Samuel Jackson is in this. And he plays Samuel L Jackson. You know what you’re getting here.
Look this movie seems like a bunch of folks were sitting around getting high at Reynold’s place and decided to shoot a nonsense movie. It doesn’t make a lick of sense and despite it being set in the real world, there are some comically outrageous things that happen to these characters physically. Salma Hayek is actually pretty great delivering every line with an effortless whiplash speed and confidence that ensure all her jokes land. Unfortunately every joke is just an endless stream of profanity, again its like these folks got together and said “let’s make a movie where we get to shoot a lot, cuss a lot, and have fun over the course of a weekend without putting a lot of effort in. Does anyone have Morgan Freeman’s number?”
I am not entirely sure of the plot here, something about Antonio Banderas (oh yeah he’s totally in it) wanting to destroy Europe, there’s a confusing infertility sub-plot as well. And (spoiler alert) Morgan Freeman is Reynold’s dad until Hayek and Jackson adopt him.
Anyway, my A-List subscription renewed and I’m back at the movies.
The Afghan Whigs, Black Love
Released on March 12, 1996 Black Love by The Afghan Whigs is probably my favorite album of all time.
Yes, that’s a bold claim. There are other albums I adore, that have meant a lot to me, Appetite for Destruction and Nevermind come to mind, but Black Love spoke to me in way that other albums, really any other art, never did or has since.
Black Love took everything that The Afghan Whigs did well, grungy club guitar rock, lush soundscapes, R&B influences, and most importantly deep, dark introspection, and perfected it. Greg Dulli’s best work always seems cinematic in nature, his albums play out like noir films projected through smoke and dust straight onto your heart, and his songs make up the individual scenes to those “movies”. Nowhere does this analogy play out more than with Black Love. Dulli’s contract with Elektra was more than just a recording contract, there were options for movies, books, producing and more, most of which never materialized. Black Love plays like a soundtrack for a movie that was never made.
Original sealed 1996 Sub Pop Release and 20th Anniversary Edition
The stage is set with Crime Scene Part One.
Tonight, tonight
I say goodbye
To everyone who loves me
With this line, Greg Dulli begins his dark tale. A crime has been committed. In the movie, a murder perhaps, on vinyl, a broken heart- a murder in its own right.
I hear the whispers, baby
If what they say is true
They say I killed the brother
To fall in love with you
The dark theme continues on My Enemy, Double Day and Blame, Etc. Dulli speaks of love, alcohol, despair, crucification, revenge, and blame. These songs, like the bulk of the movie pack in so much vivid detail. Dulli’s vocals are cloaked in rage, sadness, and cigarette smoke. The band, including Rick McCollum, John Curley, and drummer Paul Buchignani are at the peak of their powers here backing up Greg’s words. While these songs fit in on any alternative radio rotation from the 90’s, they are elevated by talent, skill, experience and musicianship. Something special is happening here as this twisted tale unfolds.
Whenever the light shines
And the stillness is shaken
And the drug of your smile has gone
And left me alone
I need it bad, I need it now
Won't you come and give me some?
I need it sweet, baby please
Won't you answer the phone?
Step into the light, baby
Black Love hits its emotional crescendo with the intentional ballad Step Into The Light. My favorite Afghan Whigs song plays like a heartfelt ballad screaming out for lost love in desperation. This is a song to both make love to and to break up to. Greg steps back from yelling into the abyss hear and gives us a raw, authentic performance that gives me chills nearly every time I hear it. Its a sparse song whose lyrics and feelings hang the in air like cigarette smoke and the scent of whiskey and sex.
If Step Into The Light is the emotional climax of the album, Going to Town and Honkey’s Ladder are the action climax. The band is searing of both of these tracks, particularly Honkey’s Ladder which sounds like a machine gun echoing in your head. Dulli goes ALL OUT here, screaming into the abyss thematically and literally about burning the whole place down. This is where things go to the edge and nearly fall apart. On screen, these songs would play out as tense action leaving you on the edge of your seat, on the turntable its the same, you want to turn it up and scream along with Greg.
We slow things down a bit with Night By Candlelight, a brooding, plodding ballad repeats the same words over and over, a hymn to despair that asks the questions
Am I vain? have I shame?
Are my thoughts of a man
Who can call himself sane?
Do I blame, all my pain
On the wickedness
I have arranged?
Dulli is questioning everything in this song, the existential crisis of the album laid bare. All of this is simply building to the climax, the crescendo, the resolution of this movie. Dulli attempts to cast out the demons he is feeling in Bulletproof and Summer’s Kiss, while the band provides a heart pounding musical landscape for him to tell his tale. Bulletproof is the chase scene…
The waiting's over
So get on down
This time we go a little lower
The sun has broke
I stretch it out
And throw some gas into the fire
The song is thrilling, sensual and raucous. A dream, a nightmare, on display as the narrator our hero deals with his demons.
Summer’s Kiss demands to be heard live. The band displaying their prowess in this short but exhilarating 4 minutes. A reflection of love, loss, despair and redemption Greg begs Demons be gone! And finds himself ultimately alone at the end. Live this song whips the crowd into a frenzy with its brief build up intro, which once the intro ends and the guitars, bass and drums hit, it doesn’t let up emotionally or musically. Your exhausted, physically and emotionally. The song feels like an end of sorts, Summer’s Kiss is over after all. Shout out to my birth year 1973 too. ;)
This album, this story, this dark tale, a screenplay written out in lyrics screamed and guitars blazed upon a bedrock of an unbelievable rhythm tapped out on drums and bass can only end one way. Epically.
Faded, is an epic. In Bothe sheers cope, size and responsibility. On its shoulders it carries the weight of finishing the story laid out before it. And it does so in epic fashion. A simple piano intro build to a crescendo a familiar melody interlaced with the melodic guitars, crashing drums and sweeping instrumentation. Often, this song will include a connection to Bonnie Raitt’s I Can’t Make You Love Me. This song plays the same in tiny clubs as it would in giant arenas, its a big song upon which Greg resolves his dark story of love, hope, desperation, and regret. The song build upon Greg’s please and Rick’s guitar screams finally finding a spot for the story to end with a crash and a twinkle of piano playing out like the end credits scene of a hefty drama.
You can believe in me, baby
Can I believe in you?
That secret's gonna kill you
In the end
It's gonna kill
You
I love this album. It came to me at a dark time in my life, but a time where things were starting to turn around. Just a few years later I’d find love, my own resolution to my tale. While the emotions on display here no linger resonate with me as they did when I was in may 20’s the power on display still finds its way into that scar on my heart which will all carry. If you don’t know the Whigs, this may not be the best place to drop in. It’s dark, brooding, intense, scary. But if you’re looking for a good “movie” to watch on a Friday night, if you’re mending a broken heart, or reflecting on a broken soul, pour yourself a sifter of bourbon, light a cigarette and disappear into one of the greatest albums ever made.
So, I found my biological mom last week…
So, I found my biological mom last week. She’s dead.
Editor Note- I usually won’t use this site for a lot of personal stuff, but will occasionally. This was huge news and this is my available medium to share.
A little bit of my “origin” story. I was adopted. Obviously. When I was five. My adopted mother, JoAnne died shortly after. It was just me and my dad, Ray, for awhile and it was pretty great.
I knew I was adopted. I remember always living with Ray and JoAnne and I vividly recall my adoption. My biological mother was just this woman named Pam that was around occasionally. My biological father, Richard, was around even less if at all. They…they didn’t treat me well. I remember some. I suppressed a lot.
I also had younger siblings. Chris and Mandy. I vaguely remember them…
My dad remarried and suddenly I had a mom, Jean, and a brother, Bob. I lost my dad at 16. Honestly, it’s much tougher than you’d imagine for your only family to be a step family. I love them, but at this point I felt more like a orphan. Abused and neglected by my birth parents, abandoned by my adopted parents, and not well-connected to my step family. My friends became my family and always have been.
I never really had any desire to find my biological family. The only feelings I had for my birth parents were anger and ambivalence. For my siblings, only curiosity.
When my dad passed away, they all tracked me down. I received a call from my brother. I ignored him. My birth mother followed up. I yelled at her. My birth father was next. He left a message with a number. I ignored this as well. I boxed up my emotions and shoved them deep down inside.
I never much wanted to find them. I filled my life with my friends, and eventually my own family. I’d think about my siblings from time to time. I question why they weren’t adopted with me. I wonder if they had a good childhood. Curious if they are good people. But never motivated to seek them out and scared what I’d find if I did.
When I met Rebecca, I found my family. When we had Wesley I had a blood relative. I was happy.
I would still think about my biological family from time to time, but at nearly 50, I knew the likelihood of my birth parents being alive was getting less and less and the possibility of finding my siblings and having any type of relationship was also diminishing.
About two years ago I decided to get my adoption paperwork. The state of Ohio opened these records a while back so I figured why not. Even with this paperwork, there wasn’t much to go on. I did some cursory searching, but again I was never super motivated to find them, and honestly not sure what I wanted or would do if I did.
Recently I had to get Wesley’s social security card out of our lockbox, and came across my paperwork again. I decided to search my birth mother again (my birth father’s common name Richard Smith-yes I was a Junior- makes searching for him nearly impossible). And this time something came up. An obituary.
The first name, middle name and maiden name matched. Has did the birth year. The city and state of birth didn’t match…and there was no other info on the obit. If it had my siblings names? Case closed. Done deal. But nothing.
After a few days with this info I called the funeral home. They said there was really no other information they could provide me. A dead end. Literally. I said look, I know my biological siblings names. They said they couldn’t tell me what they had, but if I gave them the names I had they would say yes or no. I said “Chris and Mandy, Christopher and Amanda I guess.” After a pause that seemed to be an eternity, she responded. “Yes, Mr. Richmond.”
So, there it is. I found my biological mom. She died January 7, 2020 at 66.
I am having emotions about it, but still after living with it for a week, I can’t tell you what those emotions are. It’s weird having feelings you cannot articulate. I mean when you’e sad you can say “I’m sad.” Happy, angry, afraid. Easy. I can’t say I’m feeling (this). To be honest, not much has changed I suppose. It is at the same time, dramatic and anti-climactic. IF I found her when she was alive would I have contacted her? I don’t know. And now, I’ll never know. Probably not though. Maybe I should have just let this one go. There was enough curiosity for me to do what I did, but beyond that there still isn’t much motivation. I assume my birth father is also dead. And from my own dusty, repressed memories I’d probably not want to cross paths with him anyway. My siblings…I don’t know. I just don’t know.
I am little surprised they didn’t seek me out when she died. They’s found me before. They know my name. I’m all over the internet. That’s a question. There’s lots of questions. I just don’t know if I have the desire, motivation or heart to find the answers.
So tl;dr I found my biological mother last week. She’s dead. And I’m having feelings.